Monday, January 03, 2011

What Americans Do, What Canadians Do

Hey, my fellow Americans, our friends above the border think of us as being nothing but wimps down here. Are we going to take their insults? :)

Here are a few things they are saying about us.


At 65 degrees above zero

People in Florida turn on the heat.
People in Montreal plant gardens.

At 60 degrees above zero:

People in California shiver uncontrollably.
People in Montreal sunbathe.

At 50 degrees above zero:

Italian and English cars won't start.
People in Montreal drive with the windows down.

At 40 degrees above zero:

People in Georgia don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Montreal throw on a flannel shirt.

At 35 degrees above zero:

New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Montreal have the last cookout before it gets cold.

At 20 degrees above zero:

People in Miami all die.
People in Montreal close the windows.

At zero degrees:

People in Arizona fly away to Mexico.
People in Montreal get out their winter coats.

At 10 degrees below zero:

Hollywood disintegrates.
Girl Scouts in Montreal are selling cookies door to door.

At 20 degrees below zero:

Washington, DC, runs out of hot air.
People in Montreal let the dogs sleep indoors.

At 30 degrees below zero:

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Montrealites get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.

At 40 degrees below zero:

ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Montreal start saying, "Cold enough for ya?"

At 50 degrees below zero:

Hell freezes over.
Montreal public schools will open 2 hours late

Hope by now I've put a grin on your face to face the day with :)


Gorges Smythe said...

Sounds just about right. I believe they call that the Theory of Relativety. :-)

Ralph Goff said...

Yup , heard that one before. Good for a laugh but its 20 degrees here in Sask. today and I'm cold!

The Griper said...

steaming hot 55 degrees here ralph.

ahh i learned something. i was always under the impression that the theory of relativity dealt with family members

tweetey30 said...

That is a good one my friend.. It does sound just about right.. Hope you and the Dawg are good..

Anonymous said...

awwwwww Griper no insults intended in this little humoristic description .... just hmm different point of view things i would say ..(EG)


The Griper said...

yes ma'am, my canadian friend who lives in Montreal.


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