Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Rednecked Liberal

As ennyone kin see, ah's a mighty ejoocayted man, as enny fool kin plainly see. Politics is whut ah's an expert on an' as yo' kin read ah's mighty much an expert on histo'y. Mah IQ has been measured at junius level, ah reckon. Below is an example of mah ejoocayshun an' expertise as mah junius has t'offer.

Liberalism as a political corncepp kin be defined in menny ways jest as a other political corncepp kin. Based on th' discusshuns wif them who proclaim themselves as bein' liberal it'd appear thet liberalism kin no longer be defined as it once was.

Liberalism of today is reckanized as bein' a political ideology thet is t'th' lef' of Conservatism, dawgone it. Liberalism as it began'd be defined as bein' t'th' right of Conservatism, dawgone it. Liberalism kin be said as havin' its foun'ashun back in th' age of inlightenment. Th' wo'd liberal is a derivative of th' wo'd liberate an' them advocates of liberalism were seekin' t'liberate th' varmints fum th' govment.

Our foun'in' Pappys were liberals in this hyar sense. They even went so far as t'eliminate taxashun of th' varmints fo' suppo't of th' central govment they created, cuss it all t' tarnation. It was a political ideology thet declared thet no man was born an' raised t'be th' leader of a nashun. It was an ideology thet declared thet th' varmints had th' right t'own th' lan' he lived on, as enny fool kin plainly see.

It was a corncepp thet declared thet etch man was his own man an' not th' subjeck of th' kin' he lived unner. It was this hyar fo'm of liberalism thet incouraged etch varmint thet he c'd be all thet he had potential of bein'. It was this hyar fo'm of liberalism thet did not aller fo' a “cain't” attitude in enny man, as enny fool kin plainly see. It is this hyar ideology thet instills a kin does attitude wifin a varmint but it also requires thet etch of us t'view others in thet same way.

It was this hyar fo'm of liberalism thet has brought success even when thet success was aginst all th' odds of probability. Our nashun has a histo'y of improbable successes. Even them who were slaves unnerstood this, probably far mo'e clearer than them who nevah was a slave.

Fo' a slave knowed whut it meant t'live wifout th' right t'make his own decishuns. Fo' a slave knowed whut it meant t'be dependent upon t'other fo' his needs. Fo' a slave knowed whut it meant t'wake up etch day knowin' he is t'be nothin' else but obedient. Fo' a slave knowed whut inslavement meant an' thet it meant mo'e than jest bein' thunk of as propuhty t'be bought an' sold, cuss it all t' tarnation. He knowed it not by ejoocayshun o' trainin' but by life itse'f as he experienced it.

Liberalism reckanized thet min had rights but knowed also thet them rights came wif th' highess of price. Liberalism unnerstood thet privileges were arned an' not given tharfo'e deservin' of th' highess of respeck. Liberalism unnerstood thet wif freedom is th' freedom t'fail also. Freedom is no guareentee of success. It is th' guareentee of failure fo' failure is an inevitable aspeck of freedom, dawgone it. Ev'ryone will find failure in life but wif freedom, thet man kin turn failure into a success sto'y.

Them who seek freedom will find inequality as an element of freedom, dawgone it. Fo' thar kin be no equality whar both success as fine as failure is allered, cuss it all t' tarnation. Eff'n we try t'create a society whar only success is allered we does so at th' expense of our own varmintal freedom, dawgone it. Th' same be true whar failure is not allered, cuss it all t' tarnation. An' a man wifout freedom is a slave.

Give t'other man corntrol on over enny part of yer life an' yo' give him th' right t'control ev'ry part of yer life. Fo' by givin' him corntrol yo' give him a power on over yo' thet he does not desarve eff'n freedom is t'be had, cuss it all t' tarnation. Freedom was a gif' given us an' it was given wif th' highess of price.

Liberalism made us whut we be as a nashun but unfo'tunately it is liberalism thet seeks t'deny us of ev'rythin' it fought fo' too. Whuffo'? ah cannot say. Its as eff'n they no longer take pride in whut they haf accomplished, cuss it all t' tarnation.

ah look at this hyar nashun an' its varmints an' ah knows ah's proud of whut it has accomplished on account o' its incepshun. ah look back into histo'y an' view its struggles but also view how successfully we haf dealt wif them, dawgone it. An' it is thet which makes me proud, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah have see this hyar nashun helter-skelter not jest walk t'he'p them who haf known struggles an' fo' this hyar ah's proud of our varmints an' their willin'ness t'sacrifice so thet others may knows th' oppo'tunities thet we take fo' granted, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Fo' thet was, no, thet is liberalism at its best. Thet is a liberalism thet a man, who knows an' unnerstan's whut bein' free is, kin be proud of. Thet is a man who unnerstan's whut Liberty is. Thet is sumpin no man sh'd wish t'compromise on, as enny fool kin plainly see.


BB-Idaho said...

LOL, went to the 'dialect converter' link. Oofta, shore glad ja din't use da Svedish Chef
dialect, dontcha know. :)

The Griper said...

he lets out a big goofaw then gives bb, a big toofless grin.

dcat said...

I’m coming here hoppin that the fool kin woman ain’t here harpen her half sense again! ;) LOL

Gayle said...

I did a post similar to this awhile back, Griper. Ye be better at this Redneck lingo than me. :)

The Griper said...

at the bottom of the post is a link to a site that translate it into redneck lingo plus a few other types.

BB-Idaho said...

Ok, it took me awhile. Y'all done and went and transliterated yore
hole article what ya did before..
din't ya? :)

The Griper said...

ah looks at that verment called bb, wt' my c'rn cob pip stiking utta me muth, pulls me straw hat down ov'r me eyes to hide the twinkle thar and sterts kaklin'.

"yup!!!!, just thought i'd hav a little fun. dija 'njoy ut?"

Anonymous said...

I better not get started on this

Crian said...

You know I actually had to read this through a bit before I realized it is the same post from August 8th, that is one cool link, good find Griper.

Lista said...

Wal, this hyar post got me laughin'. Especially th' way th' comments is writ. Looks like yo' changed yer colo's on this hyar blog. lolol.

The Griper said...

he gives lista a toofless grin. hopin yo like the nu culah's, gur'l.


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