More on Honor Killing

After allowing my brain to fry a bit in thoughts, grandpa continued talking and explaining to me of the concept of honor killing. Here are his continuing words.

"As I was saying the idea of honor can be a complex situation. It is the attribute of the male species primarily and society demanded that he defend his own honor. If he dishonored himself then the only honorable thing to do was to commit suicide. If it were another who dishonored him in some way falsely, he was to show his honor by his willingness to die for it.

Dishonor of the family followed along these same lines. We must remember that the man’s family determined the family name. The wife took on his last name and the children inherited it. As the head of the family, he was to be honored by all members of his family. Obedience to his ways was imperative on all members.

Women have, historically, never has been viewed as being the equal of men. An argument could be made, and justifiably so, that they were seen as being property meant to be owned. Now, this does not mean that the term property was necessarily given to them it only means that based on the norms of societies that they were treated as such. It was a way of life and accepted as the normal relationship.

Given this attitude, it is understandable why virginity was expected and valued of the female but had no bearing on the reputation of boys. In fact, a boy’s reputation was enhanced once virginity was lost and he was looked upon as a man. I have often wondered if that might be the reason of the choice of colors once used in a wedding, white being a sign of purity for the bride and a black tux being a sign of impurity for the groom.

We must also consider the fact that at one time the father of the girl to be married was given certain assets that determined the value of the girl. The word dowry is a derivative of this practice. The idea of alimony was another means that could be seen that women were to be treated as property that the man was responsible for until another man took over responsibility for her keep. There still are many norms that have been handed down to indicate that women are still treated as property even in the most civilized of nations.

Given this attitude we can see why women and girls are the victims of honor killings. For by their sexual behaviors they disgraced the family name and it was up to the man, whose name was disgraced, to regain his reputation in society. He accomplishes this by ridding her from the family as if she never was a part of his family. The same could be applied to a community where stoning was the punishment.

Now, granted, in Western societies, death by stoning or other means has not been the penalty for awhile now in regards to women’s sexual behavior but we need not go very far back in history to see that it still was dealt with severely. We need not go back very far to hear of the feel of the lash of a whipping upon the back of a woman. We have heard many times in recent history of a father disowning a girl from the family if she came home pregnant. Shot gun weddings are joked about now days but a very real occurrence at one time. A common but hidden and very dangerous occurrence was practiced that has created a big controversy even today, abortion.
Back alley abortions was used to hide the disgrace of a pregnancy. Women or girls were willing to chance it before chancing the wrath of a father who considered himself as being dishonored.

So, while we may see honor killings as being a despicable act and don’t get me wrong I certainly do, boy, we as a society better take a good look at our own history. We don’t have the moral high ground to call it despicable in righteous indignation of being a better society than another, both religiously or culturally on this issue.

Roe Vs Wade only goes back to the year 1973, which was our solution to these back alley atrocities. Furthermore, the attitude in this nation in regards to unwed pregnancies and our attitude towards women themselves only has changed since then also. though I do think that the pendulum of a just society has swung a bit to far to the left and I believe your grandmother will agree on this"

When he had finished I glanced over at grandma who had kept quiet all this time while grandpa was talking and I could only feel a greater appreciation of what being a woman meant in this world.